Is how i feel when i wake up in the middle of a sleepy patch. I wouldn't say sleep, cos i hardly sleep per se. Its just chunks of sleepy patches.
I want someone to talk to. In person. Not on a call. Not online. In person. Face to face.
I don't know whom to talk to at home. Dad sometimes doesn't really care, and I somehow can't carry on a conversation with my mom.
Online talking is just not it. Cos, the big problem is, i don't know where i stand with people i talk to. I don't know if i'm just a passing acquaintance for them, or a friend. This makes it tough, cos i don't know how much human to feel. Let me give you an example. There's someone i know, nice, courteous, charming, witty, intelligent, helpful. Frequent conversations when i'm online. But i don't know where i stand! What if , what i take to be a friendship (not phrandship, mind you) is just a casual thing to him?
Also, things change. There's this friend of mine, very sweet and nice and caring. We used to talk a lot earlier. Now, we're online at the same time, i see her status change, but somehow we don't talk. Yes, there are increased responsibilities on both sides, but still....
So i yearn for someone to talk to. Someone to listen to. Someone i'd want to listen to. Someone who's a person, not just a gtalk id. Not just a number on my cell phone.
Someone who's family.
CV Q
3 hours ago
2 reflections:
I wonder if you've read Evenstar's blog (check my blogroll). Her "About Me" says:
We're funny people. We want to belong to communities, make friends, and yet stay away and keep a safety margin. We want to talk about ourselves, and yet don't want to talk a whole lot about ourselves lest we disclose too much information. Its strange how we all want to reach out and be reached out for, and yet hide at unreachable places, far and beyond anybody's reach. Sometimes I do feel lost. In this world of fast moving cars, fast changing beliefs and faster changing people, I feel lost. The world is becoming smaller they say. It may shrink down to the size of a pea, but we will all still be alone.
We all lead extremely mobile and fast lives these days. Communication span is shorter. Cliques form and dissolve, some continue with effort. Yet its important to seek to be yourself in any relationship. Sometimes one can find amazing people in the most unexpected times and places.
Yet its important to seek to be yourself in any relationship. Sometimes one can find amazing people in the most unexpected times and place
Agree with you on both points. The first sentence is going to be a post in the near future :)
About finding amazing people, i agree. But sometimes things are so liquid, so fickle. I don't know what to think of my acquintances-online friends-etc as. Just the fear of disappointment maybe. Dunno.
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