Packing my life in 2 GBs

I'm moving out. And no, i dont have an external hard drive, or a laptop (right now).

So i have to stuff all my stuff into 2 GBs.

Photographs.

Books.

PrintScreens.

My poems/written stuff(can't call them articles)

Some useful apps(firefox, pidgin, blah blah)

Photographs. Photographs i put into my cell phone and see every night till i sleep.

All my work-related stuff.

All my applications.

Phew.

Disoriented

I'm strangely dissatisfied and disoriented right now.

Things are looking up. But personally, i'm clueless. I have no idea where am i going.  I can't control things that are beyond my control (obvious, i know).

There's a part of my life missing. The part where i can be myself. With someone else. With myself, i'm myself. But i want someone else i can be myself with.

I don't want to be the cute person people expect me to be. Yes, i'm cute, but its not a full-time job. Its a part of me, not the whole of me. Its a strain to be cute, to talk in riddles, to talk in a make-believe world. I want to be me.

I'm practical. I'm dreamy. I'm me. Yes, this is possible, who said you have to choose always? If you're good enough, you'll have both. If you have the clarity of thought, you'll realise its not either or. I have it.

Who made these categories best friend, next best friend blah blah? Who said the best friend must know everything and that its treason otherwise? Selective availibility. Instinct. Sometimes its a function of instinct, time and distance. 

There are people. People i talk to. People who talk of something else. But there are rays of hope. A childhood friend. Who gladly is not judgemental. Whom i've struck the right chords with, pretty late in life. As always, i'm scared of this being a burst. I don't know. So far so good :) Free fall is unconditional, right? :)

Denial

I can't meet you just cos i have the time to.

There has to be motion. Continuum. Continuum of thought. A tangible connection.

Not a broken link of spasmodic meets.

There has to be purpose. A sense of direction.

That is what i seek from life. And everything i choose to make a part of my life.

After all, my memories are too precious to let them be created for something which doesn't have the integrity, the sense of purpose i seek.

Same difference

Not being in love with someone, and not being in a relationship with him/her are two entirely different things.

Remorse. Regret

Does repenting genuinely and honestly ease the evil-ness of some evil deed i might have done?

Knowing people

Sometimes when you know someone inside out, u can actually pinpoint the exact moment when the conversation is going to turn sour and there are going to be daggers drawn.

The weird part is, i still go on and do it.

Pup Tales

Staring Cookie (the one who's climbing over the other pup) and Brownie (who's being climbed over)

Udaipur :)

A real LOL incident

I was watching a movie today (I'm on a vacation, with absolutely nothing to do)

There beeps and screeches my cell phone, with a text message from, hmm, shall we say, X.

X     : Have any of your relatives come from A (the-city-where-my-extended-family-lives)?

Me  : What sort of a question is this?

X     : Tell me!

Me  : Weird questions you ask me! The answer is no. Now tell me WHY.

X     : I was on a bus from A, coming home. I saw two fair ladies getting down, and their perfume smelt just like yours. So just asked

Me : *open mouthed, for 10 minutes. laughing madly, the next hour*

I mean, X remembers my perfume.

X notices the perfume those two ladies were wearing.

X correlates and asks me.

As if the whole family of grand parents, cousins, uncles and aunts, all use the same perfume.

But X is nice on the whole :)

Little things

*This is a really kiddish post*

Mailed someone today. (I was suffering an internet outage for the past week, and hence was a tad away). It was this gmail chain, you know, like me,Phrand(54).

Hmmm. So i mailed the one in question, it was 99th :P Got a reply almost the next second. One liner (most of our mails are one liners) I'd written "I'm back, blah blah", The reply "It wasn't yesterday, it has been 12 days, *answer to my blah blah*".

I never counted them :) Felt nice!

Yes, i told you it was kiddish!